YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
