would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
