Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
