Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
