There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
