I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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