Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
