I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
