i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
