I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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