ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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