I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
