i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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