Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
