I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
