There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Everything about him screamed your future.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
