will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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