dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
