What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
