Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Randomize
