Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
