He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
