your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You were trust falling into bushes
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
