my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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