plz talk dirty to me
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
