Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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