your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
