I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize