I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
