I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
