fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
