i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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