Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Randomize
