it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
