i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize