my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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