Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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