Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize