I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
handjob tips. give me some.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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