How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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