I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
