tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize