New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
