wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
