is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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