What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I can text with my tongue
You can't special order awesome
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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