Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
