You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize