: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
