the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
