is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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