Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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