conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
