i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
