Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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