the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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