she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
