trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Even my vagina gasped.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
