Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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