woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
