she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize