yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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