just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Well I just put wine in my tea
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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